Almost everyone who is on a cancer journey will wonder at some point, ”Am I going crazy?” This may be one of the best kept secrets that each of us carries.
You may feel you are going crazy or “losing it” when your brain is overwhelmed, desperate, or conflicted by competing priorities like trying to handle your daily responsibilities while dealing with fear of death and prematurely reflecting on your life. This is a scary experience. It can make you feel embarrassed, ashamed, alone, and misunderstood. You may begin to see the world through a negative lens, becoming overly critical about past actions or becoming a doom thinker about the future. This often perpetuates the vicious cycle of isolation and lack of support.
There is not one magical solution for this suffocating mountain of pressure and doom, but being aware of these dynamics can be half of the solution. It will help you try to find a way to break down your responsibilities into smaller steps, manage your time better or ask for help from others. Reaching out to those whom you feel can support you, changing your perspective, or finding a method to express your inner fears, such as talking, writing, singing, or painting can help.
These changes may be slow and subtle in the beginning, but as you gain momentum, growth can begin, allowing surviving to become thriving.
Remember that there is no manual that will help resolve everyone’s stress. We are all winging it, even if we look like we always have it together. And really, what is normal, anyway?