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Lifestyle

Adoption of positive health behaviors (e.g. diet, exercise, stress, alcohol, nicotine, recreational drugs)

The Gifts and Challenges of Caregiving

The Gifts and Challenges of Caregiving

Dear Fellow Travelers,

When my husband got sicker, there was no denying that aside from work, he would be unable to contribute at home. There was no question, no need to talk it through. I had to step up and take responsibility — managing my job, a baby, my husband’s needs, and a household on my own with limited resources. This dynamic lasted for years. He was not aware of how much I tried to handle. When I started to deal with my health issues, I felt, as a strong and independent woman, that I could not and should not ask for help.  My health issues were minor in comparison to his. Over time, he started to heal more while my health issues lingered and resulted in difficulty getting around. This required me to clearly communicate what I needed help with, and it required my husband to hear me and meet my needs.

As you can imagine, this sounds easier than it was. Men and women are from different planets and have different ways of feeling, thinking, and communicating. On top of that, the dynamics in our household were constantly changing in response to a growing child and both of our jobs and health issues. My husband and I alternated between being a caregiver vs. needing a caregiver – sometimes even at the same time. These dynamic power shifts did not always go smoothly, causing friction and extra stress. At some points, we would talk patiently and transparently and find a compromise that would work for us all. At other times, we would say things that would hurt each other and would end up feeling regretful. We always aimed for the former, but to our frustration, we often ended up with the latter. 

Caregivers can be anyone who feels responsible, has the resources and time, and loves you –  spouse, parent, child, or friend. Caregiving may feel like a duty or obligation at times — if no one else is available to take on the responsibility,  if you feel it’s your turn (when caring for your parents), or if you’re stepping up because you’ve promised loyalty through thick and thin to your spouse. Some people seem to be more naturally skilled in anticipating another person’s needs and wants than others. Similarly, some of us are better at expressing our needs and wants. These two qualities are related – the more a person feels genuinely cared for, the more they are willing to ask for help. But even if caregiving does not come as naturally to a person, this skill can be fostered over time with love and patience  (Still, sometimes external support may be needed from professionals.)

Both the caregiver and care-recipient have their limits. Pushing beyond those may lead to exhaustion and conflict, in particular when stressed due to constant change or mismatched dynamics, for example:

  • Grief. Both parties may be in different stages of acceptance.
  • Autonomy. There is no manual. Every duo needs to make their own decisions about when to ask for help and when to give help without becoming too overbearing. Both of you may change your perspectives on loss of independence over time.
  • Self-centeredness. When we don’t feel well, we often need to focus on ourselves to get through the day. If the normal balance between giving and receiving is out of sync for a prolonged period of time, it can lead to guilt for the recipient and exhaustion/resentment for the giver.
  • Finances. When illness results in more money going out than in, this can cause major stress on every facet of one’s life. The caregiver may feel strained between finding ways to earn more money (which may require hiring help for home) versus doing it all alone.
  • Affection. When preoccupied with health issues, expressions of affection are not to be undervalued since they help to keep the bond strong and resilient. The ways in which you express your love for one another may need to be changed, because the illness may have changed your physical, functional, or emotional abilities. At times, it may also help for both parties to mingle with other person(s). Sometimes, even the kindness of strangers can be surprisingly helpful. (Beware, however, some strangers may not appreciate your vulnerable state because they cannot relate). 
  • Logistics. At times caregiving by a loved one may become too challenging for financial, physical, or emotional reasons. In these cases, it may help to talk with your providers to explore relevant sources of support, including but not limited to respite care, which allows the caregiver a chance to recharge. 

For the most part, every duo is unique. Both members of the duo need to make decisions and compromises that they feel respected by and at peace with to maintain the relationship. Please keep in mind that it usually is more like a marathon than a sprint. You are only human; give yourself permission to refuel. You cannot help another if you have nothing to give. Ideally, caregiving can be a win-win for both the caregiver and care-recipient. It’s good to feel that you have support and will be carried when needed. Similarly, being of help to someone provides meaning to our lives! 

Thank you for visiting me. Below I’ve included a few things to educate and entertain you. Remember, I share ‘extra treats’ if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest! Plus, you can get notified of a new posting by subscribing to our newsletter!

Learn and Think:

Live and Feel:

As cancer survivors know, that dread disease [cancer] is a challenge, and it helps to know that people are rooting for you”. She vowed to stay on the job “as long as I’m healthy and mentally agile.

Quote from Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

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I Just Need to Lose Weight! – Updated Cancer Exercise Guidelines, and more.

I Just Need to Lose Weight! – Updated Cancer Exercise Guidelines, and more.

Dear Fellow Traveler,

As we are heading into the holiday season, many of my patients are dreading the temptation of being surrounded by lots of food (cookies!) and the resulting weight gain.  When concerned about health outcomes, weight is an easy culprit – blame it on the weight!  Recently while discussing new health issues, one of my patients told me — surprisingly calmly considering this has been a priority for this patient for years already —  “I just need to lose weight”. I sensed the defeat and helplessness.

Weight is a topic that is central in many people’s lives. It can be viewed statically (as the number on our scale, our perception of our weight) or dynamically (losing weight or gaining weight too fast and/or unintentionally). Weight is associated with many negative feelings, such as defeat, helplessness, shame, guilt, frustration, embarrassment, judgment, sadness, and stress. These feelings can contribute to unhealthy eating patterns and the vicious cycle of emotional/stress eating, or even yo-yo dieting. Almost every patient asks me about their weight. What can they do to get it and keep it down? What should their weight goal and speed of weight loss be? Which weight loss methods are the best?

The misconception often goes that if one is more disciplined, one will have better weight control. But weight control cannot be simply reduced to only two factors, food intake and energy expenditure. There are many unknowns about which factors control and stabilize one’s weight. This makes it hard to determine the best interventions for losing weight. Many different homeostasis models have been proposed by the scientific community, such as the set-point theory. Beyond that, in regard to  improving cancer outcomes, we do not yet fully understand which factors matter most – e.g. weight in normal range, weight loss, physical fitness, redistribution of fat deposits.

There is not a magic solution. There are many resources out there to guide weight loss, most of which manipulate what/when you eat and how active you are, but most have not been studied or compared with robust scientific methods. Everyone has to find the approach that fits with their belief system, personality, and lifestyle. Here are a few general pointers that you may find helpful:

  • Any change is hard. Start low and go slow. This will allow you to solidly integrate a new habit it in your life.
  • Multiple small interventions may be more sustainable and wholesome than a one-prong approach. E.g. Swap out your current breakfast for oatmeal or call your friend while walking around the block.
  • Rather than pursuing diets that omit certain food groups or ask you to fast for a prolonged period of time, it may help to pursue a diet as nature intended: a wholesome, plant-enriched diet of moderation and variety, while minimizing processed foods.
  • Please allow yourself a treat every now and then since eating also allows you to socialize and enjoy life.

If ever the cancer should recur, then I hope you will not blame yourself, since there are more factors associated with cancer outcomes than lifestyle. You can only do your best with the resources and the physical/emotional abilities available to you, and you likely will fall off the wagon once or even several times along the journey. The point is that you keep trying in ways that fit where you are in life!

Thank you for visiting me. Below I’ve included a few things to educate and entertain you. Remember, I share ‘extra treats’ if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest! Plus, you can get notified of a new posting by subscribing to our newsletter!

Learn and Think:

  • A near decade-old guideline update has been released, issued jointly by the American College of Sports Medicine, the American Cancer Society and 15 other international organizations, with new advice about physical activity for cancer survivors. More precise and practical details are still needed from future studies, however. As always – any exercise is better than nothing!

Live and Feel:

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You Cannot Always Win – Cancer Survivorship Apps, The Biggest Little Farm

You Cannot Always Win – Cancer Survivorship Apps, The Biggest Little Farm

Dear Fellow Traveler,

Sometimes my life feels a bit complicated, like a chess game in which I’m always trying to anticipate and strategize. I guess everyone’s life is like this, but dealing with a chronic health issue adds another layer of complexity. If your health causes you to have less energy at the beginning of your day, if that energy is drained faster because your body is less fit and if you have extra tasks to take care of your health (e.g. doctor’s appointments, medical tests, paperwork for e.g. leave/disability/accommodations), life can become overwhelming. At times it may even feel like you’ve been checkmated!

Most of us try everything we can to control our quantity of life to the degree that quality of life may suffer. For instance, many things we do because we think they’re healthy may turn out to have downsides (e.g. vitamin intake may be associated with lesser survival,  calcium pill intake may be associated with heart disease and Zantac may contain a carcinogen). Please note that all of these observations do not imply cause/effect, but reflect associations requiring further investigation. 

It can sometimes feel like you can’t win. You take two steps forward and one back, or one step forward and two back. It may help to remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint. When you find yourself spinning your wheels without clear purpose, stop and breath. Be kind to yourself. Rest, sleep, watch a movie, anything to allow your brain and body to rest and gain a new perspective. We’re not the only ones who have a hard time making sense of life. Even though we live in the 21st century, the medical community still has a lot to learn about our bodies, this ‘black box’ in which many systems are closely balanced and interrelated.

The internal tension you may feel forcing you to ‘fight for your survival’ after you have faced a traumatizing diagnosis like cancer is (in most cases) a normal and healthy response. You may need to find ways to distract from your own thoughts and feelings and navigate your internal energy outwards into more productive channels. I have listed a few examples to get you inspired! Please note that I intentionally did not list exercise, sleep, and diet, since they can become more a source of stress than relief in cancer survivors. Also, I did not list much about relaxation techniques (e.g. yoga, meditation), because when you have so much inner energy boiled up, it may be quite difficult to relax. First try blowing off some steam by actively doing any of the following:

  • Invest time each week in creating a calendar that visually outlines your schedule. This may allow you to recognize conflicts and/or reorganize days that may prove to be rather hectic. Break tasks down into smaller steps and rank them by priority — in terms of what you need as well as what you want! Perhaps ask a loved one to help you plan your calendar so you can identify opportunities for them to support you or join you in social activities that you can both look forward to and enjoy. (Feel free – or better yet – I challenge you to make plans to spend a few hours together doing nothing!) 
  • Absorb nature (even if you only sit) and allow all your senses to be stimulated. It can be a calming and humbling experience! 
  • Distract yourself by getting a new hobby. (What were your favorite activities to lose yourself in when you were younger?) 
  • Express your thoughts and feelings to yourself (e.g. by writing them down or typing them into your phone) or to others. Sometimes it may feel safer to express your worries to people you don’t love (such as a healthcare provider) since you may not want to hurt your loved ones with your worst thoughts/feelings. 

Control is an illusion. Please allow yourself to accept the things that you cannot change, since fighting them only makes your life harder. Life is not only about the destination, but also about the journey. Please be kind to you along the way by acknowledging that no matter how hard you try, you cannot always win! 

Thank you for visiting me. Below I’ve included a few things to educate and entertain you. Remember, I share ‘extra treats’ if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest! Plus, you can get notified of a new posting by subscribing to our newsletter!

Learn and Think:

  • A review of publicly available apps for cancer survivors.

Live and Feel:

  • A fascinating movie (The Biggest Little Farm) tells the true story of a young couple who left Los Angeles to successfully start a farm for a barking rescue dog whom they had promised would never change families again. Enjoy going back to nature while you watch this!

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Crooked Body – Menopausal Symptoms, Olivia Newton-John, and the Atlantic Festival

Crooked Body – Menopausal Symptoms, Olivia Newton-John, and the Atlantic Festival

Dear Fellow Traveler,

How has your week been? My highlight of the week is that I did something that I had promised myself I would never do. I gave in to a minimal and natural amount of highlighting to camouflage my more than average amount of gray hairs…and to my surprise, it boosted my feeling about myself more than I had anticipated! I even purchased a few hair accessories which helped me to feel human and feminine. 

Sometimes our health struggles can make us feel less attractive or desirable.  In fact, sometimes I feel crooked! Crooked, because I feel that my body must be broken since it developed cancer to begin with and then was further damaged by therapies. It may seem that cancer is the gift that keeps on giving in terms of nature and frequency — even though it may be hard to tell whether your medical issues developed due to your genes, environmental exposure, cancer treatments, etc. You may feel like your list of medical issues is never ending and continues to grow with late- and long-term effects. You’re probably tired of constantly going for testing and seeing doctors. (If you’re like me, your health care team has grown drastically.) Do you find yourself wondering when this will slow down, stop, or just normalize?

Some of you may be more like Tigger, trying to be proactive and on top of your health, while others may prefer to be more like Eeyore, forced to react when things hit him in the face. (Ignorance is bliss.) Both perspectives and anything in between are what make all of us different, unique, and human. As with everything in life though, it’s best to pursue moderation and avoid being on the extreme end of the spectrum which may lead to paralysis from anxiety or procrastination.

You’re only human. We all find our own illusionary balance in managing our medical issues. What works today, this week, or this month, may not work forever.  The trick is to keep an eye on the big picture by remembering that you don’t live to go to the doctor, you go to the doctor to live! Your health may control many aspects of your life and at times may try (and succeed) in making your mind become your own worst enemy. Illness can bring you to a dark place of anger, sadness, and frustration. In that case I hope you will be open to getting professional help (yes, adding another provider) to help you grow through the rough spot to arrive at a better space where there is room for little joys, new memories, and the pursuit of meaningful activities, regardless of how small your world has become due to your health and the amount and severity of medical issues you are juggling. It’s the little things that matter and can bring a gorgeous smile on your loved one’s faces that will brighten your mind and warm your heart!

This balance will allow you to be more resilient when life throws yet another inevitable curveball! And remember that the opposite holds true. The darkness and rain allow you to be more appreciative and grateful of the sunny periods in your life. The good and bad go hand-in-hand, keeping us in line and life in perspective.

You may feel guilty that you are complaining while you should be grateful for being alive, but the cancer journey can be complicated and overwhelming. It may help if you make it simpler by breaking it down into smaller steps, asking your health care team members to prioritize your appointments and testing, and asking loved ones to help you schedule your appointments, as well as drive and accompany you so you can have some distraction while there. Perhaps you can combine a doctor’s visit with doing something that touches your soul or makes you smile, no matter how small! 

Thank you for visiting me. Below I’ve included a few things to educate and entertain you. Remember, I share ‘extra treats’ if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest! 

Learn and Think:

This week, since we are about to head into Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I would like to recommend a few resources that might help the women amongst us. (Sorry, men. However, parts of these books may be helpful to you who have women in your lives.) 

Live and Feel:

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Keeping It Real on Social Media – How Many Steps a Day?, Healthy Food Trends, and How to Avoid Drama

Keeping It Real on Social Media – How Many Steps a Day?, Healthy Food Trends, and How to Avoid Drama

Dear Fellow Traveler! 

I have not posted anything in the last few weeks. I was busy with work and hosting a visitor.  Then I had to have a colonoscopy, an experience I expect is well-known to many of you. (Thankfully, it didn’t find anything concerning!) Taking a break from social media was refreshing. That made me think…

Reading posts about someone’s seemingly perfect life (that we may not ever be able to achieve) can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and inadequacy. Posts detailing someone’s complaints about the world can make us feel down too, in particular if we feel that they may target us, either directly or indirectly. Social media sites have begun changing their rules to create a more respectful platform that will hopefully foster more meaningful connections. This is a great beginning, but I think more subtle changes are needed.

Before posting on social media, ask yourself what your purpose is. If your goal is to elevate yourself by showing off your accomplishments, to ridicule someone, or to express your complaints or frustrations, perhaps you should think twice. If your intention is to help others by posting content that is inspiring and authentic (whether focusing on the ups or downs that are inherent to life), then your post is more likely to have a positive impact. Social media can be restorative. Even if you cannot interact with others in person due to your health circumstances, you can still help them and create a legacy online via the ripple effect of shares, clicks, and likes! This might make you feel as if you are exposing your vulnerable side, so you may want to start slowly. Follow your comfort level.

If reading social media causes you more grief than joy, you might consider turning off your accounts. If that seems too extreme, you should feel free to change who and what you follow to dynamically match your evolved taste and life priorities. This will allow you to maintain the feelings of belonging and meaningful connection that social media was intended to create. If you are homebound due to health concerns, social media can be a great way to stay present, engaged and in touch while you travel the virtual world!.

Thank you for visiting me. Below I’ve included a few things to educate and entertain you. Remember, I share ‘extra treats’ if you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest! 

Learn and Think:

  • How Many Steps Should You Take a Day? I believe the short answer is: “It depends”. This article describes 1) the fascinating history of the arbitrarily chosen target of 10,000 steps per day as well as 2) the notion that one’s daily physical activity goal cannot and should not be reduced to a target step-count since the target depends on your personal fitness level. Plus, physical activity includes so much more than only steps. However, anything is more than nothing! 
  • Eat This, Not That had an entertaining clip on a recent Today show episode about the Tastiest and Trendiest New Healthy Foods! I was particularly interested in their featured broccoli crust pizza, oats and keto-ice cream product! Yummy in my tummy!

Live and Feel:

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Describing Symptoms Accurately – Link between Vacation & Disease, Taylor Swift, Shore Birds

Describing Symptoms Accurately – Link between Vacation & Disease, Taylor Swift, Shore Birds

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Dear fellow traveler! 

As a physician I am expected to know all about symptoms. However, I have found myself having difficulty describing my own symptoms this week. And even though I have very supportive healthcare providers, this made me feel a bit inadequate. Why I would feel this way? I have been thinking it over for a bit, and even explored a little online, but did not find too much written about this topic. My husband told me that I ended up asking my provider several times “does this make sense to you”? (which I discovered is one of the recommended tips when describing symptoms to doctors) and now I am wondering, dear reader, do I still make sense to you? I have given this topic a place within my heart and head and hope that my writing may comfort you. 

We see the world and we sense our bodies in our own unique ways, colored by our genes (nature) and our past (nurture). It is not always easy to translate our feelings into words. There is even a formal name for it: alexithymia. Some of us may experience this difficulty expressing ourselves more often and more deeply than others. Many factors contribute to this challenge, such as: 

  • education
  • brain function
  • pain thresholds
  • vocabulary (I never know how to answer a question about the character of my pain – dull, burning, sharp?) 
  • self-awareness (which may be affected by traumatic experiences)

I think there may be an extra layer of complexity to this. What if your body has been damaged or altered by your disease or treatments? I can imagine that altered anatomy, myofascial planes, blood supply, lymph drainage, and nerve routes, may change the ‘normal’ (if there ever is any) or expected presentation of a symptom. These physical transformations may further challenge the often already difficult communication about symptoms between the provider and the patient, making illness harder to diagnose and treat.

It can be daunting for a patient to know when a chronic symptom has worsened to the point of needing to seek help. If you wait too long, your illness may become more severe. Also, you may find that you’re unable to explain when and how the symptoms started changing (over the course of days/weeks/months?) or how exactly this presentation is different from before. If you seek help too early, you may worry that you’ll earn the reputation of “the boy who cries wolf“. 

Physical and emotional symptoms can coexist, interact, and synergize with each other. You may be upset about the effect a symptom may have on your life, as well as be wondering why it is happening (Is it a sign of the cancer recurrence?) and will it ever go away? But then, stressing over it will not help your body either.

Symptoms may not always have associated objective findings on diagnostic testing. And even if they do, how do we know for sure they are related and not a coincidental finding? The description of invisible symptoms is not unique to cancer, as described by this Multiple Sclerosis blogger. 

Take home points:

  • Find yourself a provider who actively listens and treats you with respect.
  • Ensure that life-threatening problems will not be not missed, while your emotional toll is not being ignored. 
  • Be accepting of your new reality. Accept that your body may be irreparably damaged and your situation may be chronic.
  • If a therapeutic intervention is being proposed, carefully balance the pros/cons (high potential to help coupled with a low risk to do harm). 
  • Be aware that there are a lot of expensive and time-consuming scams out there that prey on people who are rather desperate for relief. To me this is cruel beyond words. 
  • Learn to balance uncertainty (as to etiology/prognosis) with the hope that there might be options out there to take the edge off and make your symptom(s) a bit more bearable. 

I hope this blog entry will allow you to 1) feel that you are not alone in this experience and 2) be empowered to go out there and find yourself a personalized treatment plan! Continue to be kind to yourself and others!

Thank you for visiting me. Below I’ve included a few things to educate and entertain you. And I share ‘extra treats’ via social media!  

Learn and Think:

Even though the cause/effect relationship is not confirmed yet, a recent publication has revealed a (not very surprising?!) association between more frequent vacationing and a reduced metabolic syndrome risk. Metabolic syndrome is associated with the risk for heart disease and likely many other diseases, including some cancers. Try to utilize all your available vacation time! 

Metabolic syndrome is a collection of risk factors for cardiovascular disease. If you have more of them you are at higher risk of cardiovascular disease. This is important because we are actually seeing a reduction in the risk for cardiovascular disease the more vacationing a person does. Because metabolic symptoms are modifiable, it means they can change or be eliminated. Bottom line: A person can reduce their metabolic symptoms – and therefore their risk of cardiovascular disease – simply by going on vacation. We are still learning what it is about vacations that make them beneficial for heart health, but at this point, what we do know that it is important for people to use the vacation time that is available to them. “One of the important takeaways is that vacation time is available to nearly 80 percent of full-time employees, but fewer than half utilize all the time available to them. Our research suggests that if people use more of this benefit, one that’s already available to them, it would translate into a tangible health benefit.

Source

Live and Feel:

“It’s taught me that there are real problems and then there’s everything else. My mom’s cancer is a real problem. I used to be so anxious about daily ups and downs. I give all of my worry, stress, and prayers to real problems now. It’s really interesting because I don’t think I have written a song quite like that before. And it’s just sort of, like, it’s just a tough one. It’s just not something that we deal with until we have to, until we see it, until we experience it, until someone close to us is going through something like that. And so, writing about it was really emotional. And I’m just gonna stop talking about it now.

Source CBS News and Source Today

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Guilt – Reflective Lectures

Guilt – Reflective Lectures

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Dear Neighbor!

I have had a conversation with different people about the same topic, guilt, a few times this week. I always wonder why that happens Did I steer the conversation in that direction because it’s on my mind? Was it a coincidence? Anyhow, I thought I might try to write about guilt. I hope it may help you.

Feeling guilty is often associated with a feeling of shame or regret. It’s not easy to try to make sense of the whirlwind of feelings and thoughts that you may have when you have survived or are living with cancer:

  • Could I have noticed symptoms earlier or gone to the doctor sooner?
  • Did my lifestyle choices or habits increase my risk of developing cancer?
  • Why didn’t my treatment work the way I had hoped?
  • Why did I survive when others have not? 
  • Am I a burden to my family or caregivers? (Sorry we needed to cancel our family trip, boys!)
  • How will I handle the financial costs of treatment?
  • What will my boss and coworkers think about all of the time I have to spend time away from work for treatment?

Source

Caregivers may also feel guilty. They are healthier and may wish to to take the place of the cancer survivor. Often they regret that they can’t do more to help or even take away the pain or illness. Also, they may hide their feelings/thoughts, since they do not want to put more stress on the survivor. They may skip out on fun outings to avoid stinging the survivor who cannot join. 

Feelings of guilt are normal and can come and go. Working through them will allow you to release them  so they don’t interfere with your well-being and healing. Several tips to allow you to help yourself with this are outlined here. Finding ways to soothe, comfort, and distract yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation may help. Sharing your thoughts/feelings in a journal or with people who care about you can be beneficial, too. However, if guilt paralyzes you, causing social isolation or preventing you from functioning, you should talk with your healthcare provider who can connect you with a talk therapist and/or a local support group. 

Remember that cancer is not your fault—or anyone else’s. Experts do not fully understand why most types of cancer develop. Sometimes people with cancer feel guilty about having given their “bad genes” to their children or having made bad lifestyle choices in the past, such as cigarette smoking. In these situations, please tell yourself that:

  • Even though we live in the 21st century, there are so many things in our body’s black box that we still don’t understand.
  • We cannot always control nature, no matter how much we try. 
  • Our previous decisions made sense at the time, driven by knowledge and circumstances. 
  • We are not perfect. We must forgive ourselves. 

This brings us to the next topic that can get me really fired up: stigma! Sadly, certain cancers are more associated with stigma than others, in particular those to which we attribute a certain sense of responsibility (e.g. nicotine and lung cancer). However, not everyone who smokes gets lung cancer, and not everyone who gets lung cancer has smoked, which attests to the notion that there are so many different factors involved in the development of cancer that are beyond our control. Plus, over time we may discover that many of today’s widely-accepted practices might need to be changed since they may be found to be associated with the development of diseases. I don’t feel there is any room for judgment, because it usually does not result in anything meaningful or positive. 

Furthermore, you may feel an urge or even obligation to find a purpose in the ‘extra’ time you were given. Or is it the other way around—were we spared for a purpose that we may not know about yet? We will never know. We all tell our own story in a way that gives our lives meaning and purpose.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Source.

Enjoy creating and telling your life story! Please be kind to yourself and others! 

Thank you for visiting me! Please, below find a few things to educate and entertain you!

 

Learn and Think:

It’s cucumber time, or a slow-medical news-season. Give your brain a rest!

 

Live and Feel:

Two men who died at a young age from pancreatic cancer gave inspiring lectures that I would like to share with you:

Please help by nudging us if you encounter technical problems.

Acceptance – Nutrients, Perfectionism, Photo Ark

Acceptance – Nutrients, Perfectionism, Photo Ark

 

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Dear travel buddy!

How is the summer treating you so far? If you are able to go outside, please protect your skin. In addition, for those undergoing active cancer treatments, please explore with your cancer provider if these could increase your skin sensitivity. On the other hand, if you are watching the summer pass by from the side of the pool, or even inside, then please know you are not alone! I am sure there are many other persons, including myself!, who prefer or are in need (for e.g. physical reasons) to stay on the side-line, which may result in feeling like an outsider.

But what are we trying to “fit into”, really? And who defines or decides who does or does not fit? This makes me think of Hans Christian Andersen’s  Ugly Duckling story about a swan’s egg that ended up in a duck’s nest! Other ducks gave the “ugly duckling” a hard time, because he appeared and behaved differently. But when the ugly duckling encountered other swans, his perspective changed. His self-image and confidence improved for the better: he wasn’t ugly after all! The humbling experience also led to a silver-lining insight:

He felt quite glad that he had come through so much trouble and misfortune, for now he had a fuller understanding of his own good fortune, and of beauty when he met with it. [Source].

For me the morale of the story is that trying to ‘fit in’ may not be the best approach, because it has a moving target of which the standards are driven by the constantly changing societal norms and pressures. Furthermore, striving to fit in may force us to portray ourselves differently to the outer world than we feel on the inside. This facade may result in us losing touch with our inner values and principles, and drain our soul.

This is valid for every person, but perhaps more so for cancer survivors who may not always be able to conform to society’s expectations. Their bodies may have been disfigured. Dysfunction or disability may interfere with one’s ability to climb the career ladder. Cancer treatment related infertility or financial difficulties may ruin one’s ability to create the picture-perfect life.

Instead, pursuing acceptance and belonging may be a healthier approach, although it still requires effort (as does every meaningful relationship!). But this pursuit may be easier to sustain, because it is ideally based on authenticity and thus may allow you to remain more true to yourself. But determining where you belong starts with you finding the “new you” and accepting this “new you” in the post-treatment phase!

Life is a journey….enjoy your personal rediscovery, frank conversations with your loved ones about your (likely altered) abilities/needs/wants, and the expansion of your social circle with more people who ‘like you just the way you are‘! [sorry – I could not help myself as a Pittsburgher].

Together we stand strong! Please find below a few things for education and entertainment!

Learn and Think:

Live and Feel:

I create and maintain this platform on my own. Please help by nudging me if you encounter technical problems.

 

 

Weight – Nature Therapy, Survivor Story

Weight – Nature Therapy, Survivor Story

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Dear co-traveler!

How have you been? I hope you were able to spend the Holiday weekend making new memories, doing the things you love (including doing ‘nothing’!?) with people who are meaningful to you. If you had to work, then I would like to thank you for your service – and wish you happy preparations for your next Holiday weekend!

This week, I will share a bit about my weight challenges. I know I am not the only one! As we age, maintaining and losing weight might become (much?!) more challenging than when we were younger. In addition, some cancer treatments can also lead to weight gain, directly or indirectly.

And that brings it back to me! I have gained quite a bit of weight in the aftermath and it seemed that my weight was only going up and up, seemingly independently of what I tried. I tell my patients general principles that I have shared with you before. Even though I am a physician who is supposed to know how to do this (“do as I say, not as I do!”), I realized there is still a lot I need to learn and I may need a little help!

Everyone is different, and so everyone needs to find the tools that work best for them and fit best with their personality/lifestyle. And that may take some trial-and-error efforts. In the current time and age, there are so many different help tools out there. I wish for you that, with patient persistence, you will gracefully find what works for you. But at the end of the day, motivation and ability are crucial.

In terms of motivation, the following proverb says it all: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”. You cannot force someone to accept an offer or opportunity. The timing has to be right and only you know when you are ready.

And last but not least one’s ability is crucial. Your motivation may be on target, but you may be hindered by factors such as your physical or financial abilities. Your body may not (yet?) allow you to move or eat the way you would like or even need to. We all have to find and accept that happy medium that is different for everyone and can vary over time.

For now, I think I have found strategies that seem to be able to help me turn the course, resulting in my child-like excitement (in sharp contrast to my family’s speechless response) when the scale showed a long-desired drop in weight, even if it was only 0.2 lbs! It’s the little things that matter – babysteps!

Please keep in mind the following key concepts:

Until the next time! In the mean time, please find below a few things for education and entertainment!

I create and maintain this platform on my own. Please help by nudging me if you encounter technical problems.

Learn and Think:

Live and Feel:

All Goes the Way It Should Go – Dementia, Metformin

All Goes the Way It Should Go – Dementia, Metformin

team-spirit-2447163Hello you! How have you been?

I am back online after a brief silence! I had to prioritize my time/energy for work and family, while dealing with and healing from an unexpected, sudden, and fixable health issue. All should be up and onwards now!

There is really never a good time to be sick. But we often cannot control its timing, forcing us to:

  • Initiate emergency contingency plans (for childcare etc.),
  • Ask for and accept help (at work and home),
  • Improvise, and then the hardest step of all, at least for me,
  • Let go, go with the flow, stop rushing things along, and trust that all will be what it will be. I reassure myself by reminding myself that everything goes the way it should go, whether I like it or not, whether I know the reason or not. And so, I try to accept and make the best of any situation.

Now, I have a refreshed appreciation for every day that I don’t need to visit the hospital, see a doctor, or am held back by health issues!

I am grateful for the loved ones, friends, and colleagues, who took time out of their lives to provide support (whether via text, phone, or in person). It takes a village to travel through life – together we stand strong!

Learn and Think:

  • Cancer Survivors May Have Lower Risk for Dementia. Cancer survivors may report post-treatment brain fog, which is a usually mild and transient cognitive impairment. As far as know this is not a precursor for the development of dementia. In contrast, researchers have found more evidence of a puzzling phenomenon: cancer survivors seem to be a bit protected against dementia.

Live and Feel:

“Life is short. I think that you find your own way. You have your own rules. You have your own understanding of yourself, and that’s what you’re going to count on. In the end, it’s what feels right to you. Not what your mother told you. Not what some actress told you. Not what anybody else told you, but the still, small voice. Beyond that, I don’t know. And it’s the not knowing that’s the good part. To me, mystery is the most beautiful thing—the fact that you can’t figure it out—that’s it for me. That’s for sure.”

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